A Complete Waste of Time
A Complete Waste of Time is a forum adventure by clandestineTechie set in Alternia of the Homestuck universe. Its art style imitates that of Homestuck as well. It is a story of a bunch of trolls doing mundane things and playing an immersive RPG called META. The adventure is currently on a very unreliable update schedule. The author also used to roleplay as the currently active troll on pesterchum to supplement the adventure. Plot Synopsis (Warning: spoilers may ensue.) The first arc revolves around Lorrex Kobol messing around with stuff in his home. He finds out there may have been intruders, so he goes to lock the door. In the process, he barricades himself in his room, and then resolves to rappel down from his window using a rope. He fails because the rope is too short, and ends up falling. The second arc introduced Viridian Adjang, who had phenomenal nature powers. Most of this section revolved around a flashback, which gave insight into how she ended up on the island, and talking to plants. The third arc starred Chad Saturn, who is a badass with yoyos. It is the end of a day spent collecting objects from the warehouse he lives in, and ends in him resolving to attempt to escape. He is told by his friends that installing a particular game can help him escape. He installs META, which transported him to a land of fantasy called Veirius. He invested all his stat points into pizzazz, and demonstrated you can kill monsters without power stats. The fourth arc centered on Rick Derringer, a rather capricious inventor. He instantly joins in on the META action, also inviting several of his friends before entering. His land, Termia, is barren, hot, and relatively empty. PE directs him to a town, and on the way encounters and defeats several monsters. He arrives in the town, and learns of several core game mechanics. Arc number five introduced Moira Launas, previously known as PE. She demonstrates her ability to slow time before entering META, running around her home and retrieving a weapon as the game is about to finish installing. Her land, Dephra, is swampy and rainy. It is revealed she is of the defender class, which can alleviate the death penalty on other players by sacrificing levels. In return, she earns karma points, which grant her angelic wings. Moira is basically the nicest person ever. She teams up with Rick to locate his dungeon, having completed the earlier ones. The sixth arc was is shared between Layla Kisme (EP) and Plato Alfacci (EM). They are about to enter EM's dungeon, but not before EM learns about the COMPETENCE tab and accidentally loses control of his shovel. Exposition abound. META : "MEETAA, aas iits naamee iimpliiees, iis noot aaboouut wiinniing buut raatheer hoow yyoouu wiin" :: --AA on gameplay META is an immersive RPG that the trolls have started playing. Upon installation, the player is transported to a realm of fantasy. All players seem to be transported to the same world (or at least a unified "session" world), but each player is placed in a different part of the world. There are several different character classes a player is seemingly randomly assigned that cover the spectrum of typical RPG classes. When a player joins a session, all players gain a material type in their SUPPLY INDEX. Materials are earned from killing monsters, and appear as colored spheres. At the bottom of the supply index, the character's kills, deaths, gold, and number of current players is also displayed. Killing monsters is unique in META in that the way you kill a monster is more important than whether or not you were victorious. Depending on a character's class, being sneaky, accurate, flashy, or otherwise clever in your attacks nets a player huge EXP bonuses. These bonuses, however, do not seem to apply to material drops. Also when a player joins, their dungeon is added to a metaphorical chain, linking the players together. Thusfar the only goal of META is to complete all of the dungeons, starting with your own, and then working down the line as players join. It has been confirmed that after all players join, the chain loops back around. Players have access to a HUD (usually first accessed in a fit of rage or stupidity), which contains the ATLAS (a map), BANTER (a chat room with all current participants), COMPETENCE (special abilities), and DOSSIER (stats). On the dossier, there are four stats that can be raised with points earned at every level: PHYSIQUE (strength), ALACRITY (dexterity), WIZARDRY (magical power), and PIZZAZZ (charisma). There are also two other stats listed, KARMA and ESTEEM, which can be raised but not from points. Karma seems to be raised by kind acts to other players, and transforms the player into an angelic being (at least for the defender class). Karma most likely drops as a result of cruel acts, which we may witness in the near future if AP has her way. Characters aegisMason : "mos to fm ybandwidt hi sspen to nth ecamera s,oka y" The first troll introduced in the adventure. The player attempted to nickname him Infinity, but Lorrex hated the idea. He cloaks himself in a protection comforter, which is a white security blanket. Lorrex is a cyber security expert and his home is littered with traps and security cameras. He was part of the sgrub session ages ago, and was partially responsible for it going downhill. After a series of ridiculous events he ended up unconscious on his front lawn, and when he woke up he presumably had a lot of messages to check. migrantMorality : "|t see/|\s to be do|/\/g f|/\/e \|/|thout /|\y |/\/ter\/e/\/t|o/\/." After Lorrex had a lapse in judgement, the player became Viridian. The player called her Missing and Rude when she dream walked away from sight. Viridian is a wanderer, who seems to have complete control over the natural world (verified when she constructed a home out of a sandy beach). When talking to plants she connects to the great life network and can also be contacted via instant messaging. She is first shown wearing a greek chiton, but in the past, she wore a more typical troll getup. Viridian lived a very boring, isolated life on a cliffside until her home was destroyed by a meteor while she was outside dream walking. She unwittingly saved herself from drowning, and started a life on the isolated island. entertainingAmmo : "DUDE i cant BELIEVE what i just FOUND" Chad is the third playable troll in the adventure, and first one mentioned after Lorrex. He is a total badass with yoyos, as he knows all the tricks and invents new ones "to keep ahead of the crowd". He seems to live in a giant warehouse of unknown size, and spends his days going on adventures finding new cool stuff. Chad organizes his findings based on how cool they are, on an arbitrary scale of "coolians". He seems to have reckless disregard for how little his friends actually care about the things he does. Chad also knows how to sew. He has a very voiced hatred for prescriptionMiasma. Despite his friends' advice, Chad stacked his naturally high pizzazz stat in META. Instead of brute-forcing combat, he uses his wits and coolness to get mad bonus EXP. mishapEngineer : "chill man, calm down, 3his 1nt 2ake you long im 7ure" Rick is an inventor who is greatly talented but bored often, so he designs things that will intentionally break. He is also fascinated with firearms. He is the first character introduced to not refer to his friends as jackasses, and actually seems to like them. His right arm is an extendable cyborg hand. When he was first introduced, the player attempted to name him Rikako Asakura, a girl's name. Rick seems to be a fairly competent gamer. He has had a little trouble adjusting to the META environment because of his lack of patience. He was frustrated at first of the idea of not just straight up shooting monsters in the face, but is slowly learning. patienceEngine : "...PE thinks you guys are being a bit rude!!!" Moira was the fifth playable troll. She has the ability to stretch her perception of time indefinitely, which arose after an accident involving an attempt to fly. This is probably linked to the fact she idolizes WINGED ARBITERS and has a strong will to enforce justice on evil. Moira has a very overactive imagination and sometimes gets "a bit carried away". She chose gray as her typing color instead of her blood (presumably blue) because she is modest. (and on a meta level, it would have conflicted with equitableMasochist's color). In META, Moira is the defender class, which can alleviate other players' penalty on death by sacrificing a level. In return, she earns karma points and is granted angelic wings. She has to work many times harder than other players to level, but this does not bother her at all, as she has become what she idolized. Moira may have been responsible for Viridian's accident in the past. EE said "?o what !? your next move? You got her !nto th!?. !t'? your call." This could be just saying that because PE got Viridian the plant she needed to water she was indirectly responsible. Equally likely, she is responsible for the meteor itself. ethicalProxy : "who do you think you are kidding?* :*: it's not me Layla is one of the two currently playing conjurers, who wields in fire and ice magic. Prior to META, she was an ace attorney who was constantly bailing Plato out of trouble. EP is slowly becoming more and more obsessed with gold, already adorned in a golden cape, jewelry, and a highlight in her hair. Whenever EP says something, it happens, however Layla has yet to accept that there is some magnificent power at work, rather praising her remarkable intellect. She really is pretty smart, having advised EA through the early stages of the game. EP and EM are collectively referred to as "the twins", because they share the same horns and a very similar symbol. They are not directly related, though. equitableMasochist : "i n=v=r mak= moral d=cisions i go with my gut" Plato is a well-dressed, cold-hearted heartless criminal with some really good connections (namely Layla, his moirail). He's been responsible for a lot of under-the-table shenanigans and doesn't seem to blink at the idea of murder. EM desires a leadership role, which he may have attained to some degree already, as the other players follow his lead. Whether or not they do so because he is commanding them has yet to be explored. Soon after entering his dungeon, he encountered and killed both of his devas because they were annoying him. He was completely unchanged, because he never makes moral decisions. Earlier in the story, he tried to cut Lorrex a deal where EM would close Lorrex's door for him, but in doing so also expose a giant security hole in Lorrex's legendary firewall. This was later revealed to be far from exclusive information, as AE was able to crash his firewall anyway. prescriptionMiasma : "I can bArelE hEar U over the sound of mE not giving a shit." PM seems to be hated by everyone she speaks to. This is probably attributed to her sarcastic, rude personality, but seems to have originated from an incident involving the often alluded past SGRUB session. She is in charge of distributing the META client and has some knowledge over the players' current progress but not much else. She can be contacted by players via the TEMPLES, where PM can see the players' prayers. She claims that she is saving everyone's lives by having them play META, but this may just be one of many sarcastic, off-hand remarks. In a recent update, it was shown she is trying to be nice, but her volatile emotions get the better of her. aphoticPuppeteer : "the_ last_ thing_ you_ will_ see_ will_ be_ your_ ritzy_ blue_ blood_ on_ my_ knife_ coming_ out_ of_ your_ black_ heart_" AP just joined META, and has a very strong vendetta against plato. She has described in graphic detail that EM will die. AP can travel really, really fricking fast and has been leveling at a phenomenal rate despite just joining the game. enigmaEducator : "was me, g!v!ng you an?wer? you d!dn't want to que?t!on? you a?ked." A troll who is in contact with the other characters of the story. She contacts PE to let her know that Viridian is drowning, and asks what her next move is. EE may be omniscient, to a degree, since she knew Viridian was drowning (though not shown to be anywhere near the cliffside). percolatedPlasma : "IU EWIUSHG I HAD A WEAPONB RIGHT NOIW" One of Chad's friends. He seems incredibly irritable, and his trolltag reflects this (or might just be tired of hearing about Chad's daily exploits). During a pesterlog, he destroyed his keyboard in rage. He is represented by the alchemical symbol for Potassium, which is a notably reactive element. aimlessAlchemist : "eeveen wiith myy taaleents II'd bee haard preesseed too coomee uup wiith aa uusee foor leeaad" AA appears to be the most knowledgeable about META, or at least the value of various entries to the supply index and how to utilize them. This makes sense since she was the first to enter the game. AA's gender is an unknown quantity at this moment; referred to as "him" by PA and "she" by PE. prolixAntiphon : "ugh now you guys are making me feel bad im sure air is useful really just give it time maybe one time youll be drowning or something and then youll have air and youll be all wow PA was a great addition to the team bu until then i guess i have to be sorry for having such a crappy element" PA knows very little about META, and is a poor source of advice as far as skill point allocation goes. The other players constantly rag on her for being incompetent. She is currently looking for her dungeon, which both PA and AA need to progress further. mindProspector : "oh god i won't even handled the pressures!" Like PA, little is known about MP, other than she seems to be a mildly competent META player. muteAspersion : "no" We know absolutely nothing about MA other than she is playing META soon, and has a problem with multiplayer games. Seems very antisocial. automaticEnd Mentioned by prescriptionMiasma, crashed Lorrex's firewall. ??????????????? : "I'm not here to tell you what you should be aphraid oph I guess." A mysterious individual who contacts Chad claiming to be a friend "whether or not you believe me". ?? is probably a troll, since she has a quirk and a symbol. ?? seems to be motivated to get other trolls to play META. There are 15 question marks that make up this "name". Trivia * Every character thusfar introduced has done something mundane that was a complete waste of time. Whenever it happens, the title drop is bolded. * Each character arc is covered in 35 pages. It was coincidence up to the end of the EA arc. ** The EP/EM arc will last 70 pages after a 2x Introduction Combo. Tropes *Color By Technicolor - in particular, the author seems to like landscapes *Hello, Insert Name Here - In compliance with standard homestuck troll introduction procedure. *Voices In My Head - Especially Viridian, even to the point where she tries to find ways to get rid of them. *You Are Now This Guy - "Be _____" and the whole nine yards. Category:Adventures